Browsing Category:

Confidence

  • Confidence

    Please Don’t Tell Me to Smile

    Please Don't Tell Me To Smile

    Please Don’t Tell Me to Smile

    My Thoughts on Being Approachable

    Approachable. Is that what I need to be?

    No more of my time will be spent agonizing over comments that I am snobby, bitchy, and unapproachable. However, I think I’m over that now.

    I’ve been told that I come off as distant – uninterested in getting closer.

    The truth is, I don’t like attention from people I don’t like. That is what I’m uninterested in. It doesn’t appeal to me. I value my privacy and my space, and I’m prepared to give it up for a select few. It’s not because I think I’m better than anyone.

    I’m nice. As well as polite, curious, considerate and understanding. If you talk to me, you will see that I’m far from cruel. Anyone who wishes can approach me, and I’ll treat them with kindness.

    However, I admire and encourage attention from a select few.

    Why is this wrong?

    Why do I need to make myself available to the world, or to anyone who wishes?

    I am not a 24/7 gas station. I’m a person.

    Nor am I the door to a home – open, closed, locked; difficult, pliable.

    I don’t exist only to tend a doorstep.

    I don’t need to be decorated and passive.

    Show me a man under scrutiny for being unapproachable. Or is that unnecessary, since he is always the one who approaches?

    He walks, he chooses, and I sit?

    I will manage the door to myself however I wish.

    Most of all I wish to never be a door.

    I am a walking, living thing.

  • Body Image, Confidence, Health

    My Fitness Journey

    My Fitness Journey

    Learning the Difference Between Self-Sabotage and Self-Care

    When I was 14 I decided to make a change. Chubby and tired of being labeled “the chubby friend”, I started a 30-day workout video called “30 Day Shred” by Julian Michaels. I also downloaded the My Fitness Pal app to count calories. All of this was completely new to me and I had zero knowledge of working out or healthy eating.

    However, I did know that the Google search results on “how to lose 20 pounds in a week” were not working.

    Within the first week of counting calories and working out, I noticed results. Because I was in the ninth grade, my metabolism was probably in its prime. I just needed to put in a little effort because of bad genes. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Without realizing it, I lost 30 pounds in a month! Often, I lost motivation and did not want to work out, but watching the scale go down helped me to persevere.

    If you know anything about counting calories – you know that once you factor your weight loss, it lowers your calorie intake and so on. Ultimately, this created an obsessive behavior. As the weight continued dropping, I managed to still see myself as the chubby, 130-pound girl I was determined to erase.

    I was miserable. I constantly thought about food, and wouldn’t hang out with friends if I hadn’t worked out. If I missed one day of working out, I felt like I had gained 5 pounds. If I ate more than 2 slices of pizza I would take laxatives to make up for it. After diving straight into an incredibly unhealthy mentality, I didn’t eat cake on my birthday because I was afraid it would make me fat. I was afraid of food and terrified of gaining any weight.

    This went on for a while until I was miserable enough to confess to my sister – which wasn’t much of a confession because all I ever talked about was food and working out so she had already noticed.

    My mentality was so messed up. I started to research on maintaining my weight and tried to find stories about people who had gone through the same thing. I found nothing.

    It wasn’t until I came across a girl on Instagram who had just finished a workout guide called BBG. Grace had abs and that was what I was striving for. I worked hard and wanted abs to prove it. So I started doing BBG and I did not like it, at all. I thought the workouts were boring because I was a runner. I didn’t finish BBG but I continued to follow Grace and her fitness journey. BBG lead her to fall in love with lifting weights and cured her unhealthy relationship with food.

    Finally, I found my solution to this madness. Although the weight room was unfamiliar to me, I threw myself in. To be honest, I was clueless and felt like a man. Eventually, I  learned the correct form, put my headphones in and pretended to know what I was doing – using the Nike Training app as my guide. I fell in love with the gym. It became my stress reliever and my favorite part of the day. My body was sore, but seriously who doesn’t like that feeling? I felt so strong but just wanted to transform my body.

    Weight lifting resolved my eating issues. I fell in love with healthy eating and learned how to balance my meals and fuel my body according to my new active lifestyle. I stopped counting calories and solely focused on how my body felt and the nutrients I was consuming.

    It is incredible the way my body has transformed. Now, I workout 4-6 days a week and love it. Also, I’m much stronger and am learning a lot about form and technique with the help of Youtube and Instagram. It is crazy what you can accomplish if you just change your mentality. 

    Be healthy and take care of your body! WE can do anything. Girl power!

     

  • College, Confidence, GirlSpring.com, Goals, Mental Health, Puberty, School, Stress, Tips, Tough Questions

    Uncertainty is Actually A Positive Thing

    Uncertainty is Actually A Positive Thing

    By Maggie Thompson

     

    Being uncertain is a feeling with which we are all familiar.

    A looming pressure to know exactly what we want in life is placed on us as early as middle school – if not before. This question of what we want our lives to be is actually ridiculous. How could one possibly know what they truly want if they have yet to decide what they do not?

    Uncertainty is how we learn.

    When we acknowledge our uncertainty, we open the door for more opportunities. This is because knowledge is not obtained without first admitting its absence.

    Experiences shape our beliefs – on everything.

    Hesitating to wear a certain color, deciding to study before a test, and avoiding certain types of people are all decisions made due to past experience. We believe the color yellow is not flattering for our skin tone because we read it in a magazine, we study before a test to avoid a failing grade, and we choose not to befriend dishonest people so that we don’t get hurt. Regardless of how big or small the belief – it is formed by past experience. However, some of these beliefs will alter as we learn and grow. This is a good thing. Being open to new challenges provides a chance for a new perspective.

    As a result, being uncertain is the best way to unlock change and growth.

    Do not be afraid to admit uncertainty or lack of knowledge, for this is how truth is uncovered – through exploration. So when you are feeling down about not knowing exactly which direction to go, accept that some of the steps you have taken thus far have been incorrect. Although this feeling is initially terrifying, it begins to dissolve as soon as you take the first step into the unknown. Because before you know it, you will find yourself happier and more engaged with life.

  • Confidence, Fashion, Video

    Look AND Feel Like A Million Bucks

    Look And Feel Like A Million Bucks

    Look AND Feel Like A Million Bucks

     

    By Zharia McKenzie

    Zharia studies News Media at The University of Alabama. When not working towards her degree, Zharia gets to work alongside the creative minds at Free People – allowing her to style women in clothing that empowers them.

    Check out this cool video she made!

    Lilly Pittman, a senior stylist for Free People, give us a glimpse of the life of a stylist!

    Want to learn more style tips? Click here, https://www.girlspring.com/?s=personal+style

     

  • Confidence, Goals

    New Year’s Resolutions or New Year’s Goals?

    New Year’s Resolutions or New Year’s Goals?

    New Year’s Resolutions or New Year’s Goals?

    by Maya Kitchens, GirlSpring Springboarder

    It’s the time of year when we realize just how committed we are to our resolutions and goals!

    Having New Year’s Resolutions are very common for people as the clock strikes midnight on the night of December 31st and the early morning of January 1st. I myself have had New Year’s Resolutions, however, I have broken them pretty quickly. I’ve decided to call these “New Year’s Resolutions” something different. I’ve decided to call them “New Year’s Goals” instead. To me, goal sounds more positive than a resolution. The term “new year, new me” is very popular, but I don’t necessarily want to change, I want to accomplish more. Going into the New Year, don’t change yourself, maybe change the way you look at life. I’m going into 2019 with a more positive outlook on life, which in turn will make me more successful.  

     

     

     

    Read more posts on GirlSpring here!

  • Books, Confidence, Lifestyle

    Harness the Power of Your Inner Goddess!

    Harness the power of your inner goddess

    Harness the Power of Your Inner Goddess!

    Girl power author Ashley Holt shares her secrets on soul strong living for girls in her debut young adult book, I am Brave: Soul Strong Living for Girls. Boost confidence, develop self-esteem, and find your inner goddess! This would make an excellent gift for you or a friend!

    Link to the book, here! Ashley was also one of our Wonder Women! Learn more about the career talks here!

  • Confidence, Health, Lifestyle, Sports

    My Figure Skating Journey

    On my third figure skating lesson, I broke my finger.

    It must have been a spectacular sight: my tall, fairly stable body was brought crashing to the ice by a girl not more than half my height and no less than a third of my age. It was really only a matter of time, seeing as I was older than everyone in my skill group by at least a decade. However, I had never truly felt my age until I was kneeling on the ice, finger throbbing, at eye level for the first time with my group mates and trying to comfort the crying young girl who had accidentally tripped me.

    A scenario like this had never really crossed my mind when I entered the sport.

    I decided to take lessons initially because a close friend of mine had introduced me to competitive figure skating as a spectator sport. I would watch full broadcasts of past World Championships and Grand Prix circuits while making art, doing homework, on long car trips, and whenever I had nothing in particular to do. Before I knew it, I had familiarized myself with all of the common terminologies of the sport and had a ranking list for which skaters I expected to win which medals at the 2018 Olympics. Watching the fast, dramatic, yet elegant athleticism of the top athletes reminded me of my days as a dancer in elementary school. I felt my childhood joy reigniting, and decided to give figure skating a shot. Yes, I may have under anticipated just how much time and effort would be needed before I could actually land a Lutz or perform a perfectly executed scratch-spin, but I was motivated like I never had been before and the world wasn’t about to stop me from trying.

    I asked for lessons for my seventeenth birthday.

    Even though the closest rink to me was thirty minutes away on a day with no traffic. I didn’t even own a pair of skates, yet I went to my first class that March. I was aware that I would be the oldest skater in my beginner group, as many of the female skaters my age were already in the professional bracket. However, the swarm of tiny five and six-year-old girls zooming around the ice in tutus caught me completely off guard.

    My newfound confidence dwindled.

    I was in way over my head thinking that I could ever reach the level of the awe-inspiring women I watched so religiously on Youtube. My dreams of standing on the top of a podium with a medal hanging proudly around my neck slipped into the realm of the unattainable. I doubted that I would ever even land a small bunny-hop, much less a graceful triple Salchow. It would only occur to me after I had passed the basic classes and looked back on them, that those tiny girls with all of their talent and potential, probably felt the same as I did. Suddenly I didn’t feel so different from my teammates, despite the fact that none of them could even tie their own skates yet. The throbbing in my left ring finger felt more like the first landmark on a long journey than a detour.

    It has been a year and a half since my first lesson.

    My finger has completely healed (except for a small bump in my knuckle that will probably never go away) and my coach has praised me for how fast I picked up on the technical elements of figure skating. She tells me to breathe before I take the ice for my first competition, and the gold medal I hang over my bed later that day makes me excited for what will come next.