Browsing Category:

Relationships

  • Articles, Relationships

    The Art of Tolerance

    THE ART OF TOLERANCE

    By- Purnima Priyadarsini

    It hurts no matter what. It always hurts to be hit. But the question arises from the brimming pain in the soul, why me? The woman who was born to be your progeny should not be the one whose face you slap. She can roar the loudest, so don’t her cry in the darkest silence. Dead with fear inside, she still dares to live with fake expressions for you, she still thinks she is in love with you.

    A woman is not a prize won in a competition, nor is she an object to play with. Her tears are real, her screams are real, the bruises that cover her body are real, her pain is real. Still, she tolerates abuse because of faith she had once been shown, with the hope of kept promises once made to her. She suffers either pain or fear, but is it possible that she is still in love.

    Why is it that one in every 3 women is victimized and experiences pain in the name of love? Was it her fate or just a choice she made? A woman does not only suffer physical abuse, she is also exposed to mental, emotional, economical, and sexual abuse at the hands of her current or ex-partners. An abuser has many options, but women are left with no other option except to suffer.

    Now that conditions have worsened, we are realizing something needs to be done. It’s human tendency to wait for things to get worst. Exploitation has crossed all its limits, and an epidemic is impending. But, as the time itself says, it is never too late to take action. Every woman will roar not scream, she will be brave not scared. Her tolerance shall break its silence at the edges of injustice, and she shall know no fear. If she has taught herself the art of tolerance then it is only she who can teach herself to fight. She is important is all she needs to understand. She is a warrior in disguise, a lover with purest of the souls. how can she lose then when she herself is the truth?

  • Dating, Relationships

    How Healthy Is Your Relationships

    Everyone deserves a healthy relationship! Don’t settle for anything less!

    Is my relationship healthy?

    Healthy Relationships
    The person I am with:

    • Listens to what I have to say.
    • Respects and supports my decisions.
    • Encourages me to have a life of my own.
    • Is my cheerleader!
    • Wants what is best for me.
    • Does not pressure me about sex.
    • Likes my friends and family.
    • Would never try to hurt me.

    Unhealthy Relationships
    The person I am with:

    • Puts me down, calls me names or constantly criticizes me.
    • Tries to control what I do.
    • Gets angry when I don’t drop everything for them.
    • Makes me feel ashamed.
    • Makes me feel like no one else would want me.
    • Pressures or forces me into having sex.
    • Tries to keep me from seeing my friends and family.
    • Grabs, pushes, shoves me or hurts me in some way.

    From: UT Teen Health

  • Relationships

    True Friendship

    Nowadays, true friendships are hard to come by. In our generation where spreading animosity through subtweets and Instagram comments are more common than smiling at a stranger on your way to class, our so called “friendships” tend to fizzle out like the latest fashion trends and start anew like fresh, hopeful rose buds in the spring in the span of a few days or weeks. They stem from desires of quick fixes of our past friendships and then on to the next when we find the smallest flaw. But then again, isn’t that just the world we live in? When everything around us is so fast pace and replaceable, why would we expect our friendships to be any different? Why would we expect the same people who once built us up to tear us down? After all, it’s what we do to everything else: forests, animals, playgrounds, factories, technology. We use and use and then tear down when the next best thing arises. So, I ask again, why do we expect our friendships to be any different? Why would we expect unconditional love from friendships that began under endless conditions?

    The answer lies in our natural human tendencies. We want to believe the smallest ounce of goodness will result in a triumph of the human spirit. We want to believe in what we see in the movies, an idealistic phenomenon that friendship lasts forever and pain from losing those friendships is short-lived. But, more often than not, we are wrong. More often than not, we get burned and have the emotional scars to prove it. But, we do continue to forgive and forget. Why is that? Is it because we all have some sort of short term memory loss causing us to forget all the mistakes a person has made and all the damage they have caused? No, it is much simpler than that. We want so badly to find real friendships. Real support. Real trust. Real laughs. Real shoulders to cry on. Real feelings. Real unconditional love. And when we find that, even for the shortest time, it means everything. It means more than our Instagram likes, more than popularity, more than money and more than power. Friendship means unconditional love, a gift that cannot and will not be granted more than a few times in a person’s lifetime. At the end of the day, no matter what age, race, religion or even species, true friendship is a testament to fate’s most valuable and transcendent gifts to us all.

  • Articles, Health, Relationships

    How to be Less Judgmental

    We all are guilty of thinking a harsh thought about somebody else or about ourselves, sometimes without even realizing it. We inherit these thinking habits from television, movies, parents, and friends and while criticism can sometimes be entertaining, it can also sour our mood and relationships. The more a person thinks about what’s wrong with themselves and the people around them, the better they get at finding these flaws and ignoring what’s good. Professional fault-finders are not fun friends, siblings, or team members and their happiness often suffers from only seeing what they don’t like. Learning to be less judgmental keeps your mood high and eases relationships with other people.

     

    1. Watch your thoughts

    Listen to your inner voice closely to see what it says about the grocery store”s cashier’s hair or your friend’s outfit. When you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, ask yourself if it’s fair and if it serves you. Try to deflect the harsh thoughts by thinking the most positive, warm thing about what you’re seeing instead.  Get creative! When you feel yourself thinking something critical about someone’s outfit, imagine you are a commentator at a runway show and instead of tearing it apart, point out its genius. If you give these positive thoughts more attention than the negative ones, you’ll feel a lot better about others and yourself. Pretty soon, thinking the nicest thing instead of the meanest will be an impulse.

     

    1. Bite your tongue

    When you do have an ugly thought about something, be sure not to say it aloud. Even if you don’t care what the person you’re talking to thinks about you, vocalizing your criticism only encourages more harsh thinking. The best way to become less judgemental is by first changing the way you talk about others and then you will be able to change the way you think about others. As a rule, people respond much better to encouragement than criticism so being very good at criticising others is often more detrimental than helpful.

     

    1. Realize when you want to find faults

    Once we become good at finding problems and flaws, it’s hard to not see them everywhere. The best fault-finders can find something ugly in even the most beautiful things and only focus on the imperfect. The next time you see someone make a harmless mistake or reveal a unique quirk about themselves, realize it’s okay if you don’t point it out or have an opinion about it. It’s okay if things are imperfect and it’s often the imperfections that make life and people exciting and interesting. If you find someone or something that doesn’t seem to have any blatant faults, don’t turn into a detective trying to find one. If you accept imperfections and don’t actively seek out things to dislike, you’ll be much happier with what’s around you.

     

    1. Everyone deserves to be happy

    Everyone, yes everyone, deserves happiness. If someone’s doing what makes them feel good without harming anyone else, why not let them do it without judgement? You deserve to do what makes you happy too and you wouldn’t want anyone looking down on you for the way you have fun. Maybe you can even share in that person’s happiness if you decide not to criticize them to yourself.

     

    Deciding to welcome imperfections instead of judging them can make life seem much more beautiful and fulfilling. I hope you take it upon yourself to reject being a fault-finder and love others and yourself how they already are.

  • Confidence, Depression, Relationships, TRENDING

    A Letter to The Girls Who Are Trying to Figure it Out

    A letter to my little sister by Ashley Mosley 635910818387618239-203699596_sibling-silhouette-photo-by-kristin-ingalls-840x559

    Little sister, as you grow up I pray that things don’t always go your way. When they don’t go your way you are able to learn to grow in a beautiful way. Little sister, when somebody starts to make fun of you, don’t you dare let that get into your sweet mind. You are a child of God my angel!! You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Sweet girl, be strong and courageous like it says in Joshua 1:9. Lean into Jesus when times are hard. It’s okay to cry because as each tear falls, Christ catches them and keeps them in a jar. He cares so much about you that even your tears are important to Him. I want you see how much love He has for you sissy. You are truly beautiful and you have the glow of Christ beaming all around you, and that is beautiful. Jesus puts in the Bible 365 times, don’t not worry or fear because He knew each day would be filled with some new worry. He wants to take care of you and make sure you will be ok. When you fall down and just give up, don’t little sis. Jesus is sitting next to you rubbing your back telling you, “It’s going to be okay. I’m right here. Let’s try this again together.” Little sister when people laugh being your back, I want you to learn to hold your head tall and grab Jesus’ hand. It hurts, I know. I’m afraid too many of us have been there. This is when we just want a friend to cry and talk to, but I have good news for you. Jesus is longing to hear from you and I urge you to talk to Him. He is your eternal friend. Baby sister, I know this world is mean but you find the most beautiful things and turn it around. You always look for the good in people and that inspires me. I love you & never let the fear of the unknown scare you. I love you. Song of Solomon “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”

  • Articles, Relationships

    The Key To A Good Relationship

    I have been in a relationship for seven and a half years now. On the evening of December 8, 2009, I was asked out, and on the evening of December 8, 2016, we got married.

    When I tell people this, they’re usually surprised, and sometimes jealous. After all, I’m 25, which means that when we first got together, I was 17. So people have asked me what the key to making their relationships work is, and I think that’s where they go wrong.

    There is not one key to making a relationship work. When asked to narrow it down to one perfect element that a relationship has to have, I refuse. Relationships cannot function without trust, honesty, communication, love, respect, and support on both ends, and to try to pick between any of those elements is absurd.

    When people ask what the key to a good relationship is, my advice is to figure it out yourself. That’s not because I want to brush you off or I don’t want to help. Rather, it is good for people to find what works for their relationships. What works for my relationship may not work for yours, and that is totally okay (as long as both relationships are healthy).

    One thing I can tell you is to stop worrying about your relationship lasting and live in the moment. That can be difficult, but if you focus too much on making your relationship perfect and lasting, you’ll get burnt out and the relationship might crash and burn.

    It can be hard to stop worrying about your relationship. After all, you’re in love. You want to make sure that you’ll be with the person you love forever, right? But none of us can predict the future, at least not to my knowledge. You can vow to love someone for the rest of your lives and then three months later get divorced. We’ve all heard about that happening all too frequently in our society. So how do you make sure you’re not going to be one of those couples?

    Well, one big tip that I’d give to you is that you need to like your partner. This seems really obvious, right? But all the best relationships that I’ve seen were couples that were best friends first, and partners second. That doesn’t mean that they started out as best friends, it just means that eventually they ended up that way. There is a sort of freedom that comes with being in a relationship with your best friend. It means that you know that they’ll never make fun of you (in a cruel way, that is) and that you can trust them with anything. My advice to anyone hoping to make their relationship last is to cultivate your friendship with them. Make sure you like them in addition to loving them.

    Overall, I’d say relax and enjoy the ride. Besides, if you have mutual trust, honesty, communication, love, support, respect, and fondness, then in my eyes, you’re good.

    Do you have any thoughts on making a relationship last? Leave them below in the comments!

    (Written by Megan Flint.)

  • Health, Home Life, Lifestyle, Relationships, School, This and That, Tips, Writing

    How to Make Someone Feel Special

    Everyone likes to feel listened to, respected, and appreciated. It’s human nature and we like those who make us feel those things. That’s why it is a great skill to be able to make someone feel special. The best thing about it is that it’s so easy!

    1. Listen to them.
    And really listen to them. Listen without thinking about what you’re going to say next, just focus on the person and what they have to say. Sometimes it might feel natural to interrupt someone else’s sentence when you’re excited but try to let whoever you’re talking to completely finish their thought. Besides, you already what you’re going to say but you don’t know how the other person feels about a topic or information they might know. One of Bill Nye’s most famous quotes is: “Everyone knows something you don’t”, and if you approach conversations with this in mind you’ll automatically focus more on what the other person has to say and you’ll seem a lot more interested because, well, you are! Make eye contact, ask questions, give them your undivided attention, and remember what they tell you so you can show them how much you really were tuned in. Those who really listen to us and are interested in what we have to say are the people we love most because they make us feel… special!

    2. Validate them.
    Everyone wants to have their ideas and actions validated, it’s a natural feeling to want to hear those around you compliment what you’re doing. So a sure way to make a person feel good is to compliment them, congratulate their accomplishments, and validate their ideas, goals, and interests. There are so many ways to make a person feel validated, tell them you agree with them on a certain topic, ask for their advice or opinion an issue, compliment their positive traits, or anything else that communicates to them that you recognize a good thing they are doing. Criticism can be common friend to friend but try to be aware of how much and how harshly you criticize a person. If a little validation from someone you trust gives you a feeling of positivity, a little criticism gives a person ten times as much feeling but in a negative way. So be aware of how much disapproval you show someone, it can erase all the validation you give them and then some.

    3. Show your respect.
    So often in life, we are given little to know respect so being the person to give someone the respect they deserve goes a long way. To truly respect someone you must respect all things about them including their time, their reputation, and your relationship with them. That means being honest with them even about difficult matters. That means never talking badly about them behind their back because you respect their reputation that much. If you hear something about them, give them the benefit of the doubt you wish others would give you in similar moments. Try to limit how much you speak negatively of others around them too, because you wouldn’t want to hurt their reputation with other people also. Respect their time by realizing that they might be busy when you’d like to chat and that their whole schedule does not revolve around your needs. You don’t have to aim to be respectful with just authority figures, realize everyone in your life would benefit from feeling respected and would probably return the favor. The feeling of being trusted is a special feeling in our world and it is an easy gift you can give to others.

    Just a reminder that all the feelings listed above are gifts that cost exactly nothing but really affect how a person feels about themselves and their life. So give the gift of respect, attention, validation to anyone who you think deserves to feel special and do so in generous amounts because, after all, no one can ever run out of appreciation and admiration. Give some to your parents, your teachers, even people you don’t necessarily like and see how your life changes! You’ll find that being a person that knows how to make a person feel special is awfully… special!