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    Poem: How I Fell for you

    How I Fell For You by Olivia Martin

     

    You lied, cheated and tore up my mind

    Another like you? Not too hard to find. 

    The opposite of my type should I say

    Even though talking to you was the highlight of my day

     

    I should hate you 

    But I want you

    Your immature and took me for a fool

    Why do I want you

     

    I walk by you as if you didn’t play a major role in my screwed up mind

    I want to punch you

    I want to hit you

    I want you to feel the pain I feel every time I try to give a kind guy a chance

     

    But I can’t 

    Every time I see them, I see you, no lie

    And not being able to tell you this eats me alive

     

    You lied to me & were selfish 

    You knew exactly what to say that night when I called you in a bliss.

    My lips are marked with your name in my mouth

    I miss it so much but know I can’t have it

     

    I see you in public and want to run to you, arms wide open claiming your mine

    When I see you look away or pull your hat down, the inside of me dies.

    I have one vid of us, at a wedding

    Foreshadowing? Who knows. But the way you looked at me is pierced in my mind, the joy was spreading.

     

    I hate your country music, your feminine side, when you wear headbands & the way you tore apart your family

    Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Or worse, stop reliving our cherished moments which I was so unsure

     

    Your humor excited me and so did us sneaking around

    “It’s not my fault I like everything you” is what you told me one night 

    My smile hid under a mask as I continued to put up a good fight

     

    I look up at the moon and say goodnight to you

    Hoping your saying it back even though I already knew the answer to that 

    I trusted YOU with my whole heart

    You took everything I said seriously and cared about what I had to say

     

    I was in lust, only to realize you would

     

    abandone me

     

    left me there to die

    Why do I wish to hear your voice and hear you cry 

     

    AND I HATE GUYS THAT CRY

    So why, oh why, are you the exception when you hurt me so bad while I was so young with a wrong perception?

     

    Yet I want you

    I want an apology 

    I want respect 

    I want to be put first

    I want to be kissed

    I want to be loved

    By you

     

    But why not tell you before?

    Why not say this when you told me you felt this way towards me?

    Because you already decided our fate

    Without even taking me on a date

     

    I guess your right we want different things

    You want a truck, a wife and a bag full of dreams

    But I want success, a family, and whatever else it seems

     

    So therefore I did not tell you

    What I wanted to say, is that okay?

    I know I was very cold to you on that very warm day

     

    It was all just an act to make me not like you

    I wish I could take it all back 

    And see if things could be different and new

     

    Sometimes I replay your recordings to me before going to bed

    So close yet so far listening to everything you said.

    It’s not our time, it may never be 

    At least I can have some peace knowing I told you 

    How I fell for some guy without a degree