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Poems

  • Articles, Depression, Mental Health, Poems

    Depression: A One-Way Mirror

    All along, I’ve seen the warning signs

    The vicious cycle of my disease

    Struggling to get out of bed every morning

    Pretending everything’s fine

    Constantly numbing the pain

     

    I’m in a prison of my own making

    But I don’t know if I want to break free

    Everyone tells me to keep fighting

    Why can’t I just give in?

    Body, mind, soul, you already own it all

     

    I live in eternal darkness

    But have never felt more at peace

    I close my eyes, prepared to surrender

    Taking a deep breath, I sigh

    As the harsh reality of life washes over me

     

    No one’s coming to save me, I am on my own

    Why shouldn’t I give in and let the darkness swallow me whole?

    But for the first time ever, I suddenly feel an urge to fight

    I open my eyes as I repeat the words

    “No one’s coming to save me”

     

    It’s true, no one can save me, so I have to save myself

    Fend off the all-consuming darkness

    Revive my light that once shown so brightly

    Embracing the pain, the fear, the hatred

    I face the mirror, a wall of invisible scars

     

    I’ve been a soldier my whole life

    My body, a living warzone

    Hidden from sight

    Masked by makeup, manners, and misdirection

    An illusion only I can recognize

     

    Mascara concealing the tears I’ve cried

    Lipstick covering the secrets I hide

    Clothes veiling my battle wounds

    On the outside I smile quietly

    On the inside I’m screaming for help

     

    Every day, an endless assault of intrusive thoughts

    “No one can know”

    “Just smile and ignore the pain”

    “Don’t think so much”

    “Why can’t you just be normal?”

     

    I breathe deeply as the panic sets in

    “Everyone’s staring at you”

    “You’re so fat”

    “They’re not really your friends”

    “Why can’t you be pretty like the other girls?”

     

    Yet again I feel that same suffocating weight

    The bone-chilling darkness that surrounds me

    But this time something’s different

    A new voice echoes loudly inside my head

    “You’re beautiful just the way you are”

     

    Gasping, I face the mirror once again

    As the broken glass shatters around my feet

    A new, almost unimaginable image appears before me

    My once unruly hair, now a crown fit for a lioness

    My once shameful stretch marks, now a beautiful reminder of my journey

     

    I stare at the mirror in amazement

    As every part of my body begins to glow from within

    Not a trace of the darkness is left

    All I can feel is the warmth of the light

    Turns out, I was the illusion all along