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  • Articles, GirlSpring.com, Relationships

    What to do if You’ve Been Ghosted

    Do you ever meet a cute guy and his name starts constantly popping up on your phone accompanied by daily snapchats and fun gifs? Then suddenly he disappears? Your text is left on read and your snapchat streak is gone?

    You have been ghosted, my friend. So, what do you do now?

    I’ve been ghosted before and it left me asking myself what was wrong with me. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore. Your first instinct is to text them and get to the bottom of why exactly they vanished from your lock screen. But don’t. Most likely, you will get a harsh answer that was better left wondering about. If there is one thing I learned from boys and why they ghost you it is simply because they aren’t interested anymore.

    With guys, sometimes if they aren’t feeling it, they want to run away. They are afraid that you have feelings when they don’t want to lead you on. Although, this often happens to a lot of people, it doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do. I know you may feel like you deserve closure. Or that there is the off chance that if you reach out you will continue to talk again, but that is not true. If a guy loses interest, he has most likely moved right along. So keep your head up and move on too!

    After all, you want a guy who will pursue you and fight for you not just leave you hanging. There is nothing wrong with you if you have been ghosted and you are worth more than that. Hold out for the guy that will make you feel chosen.

    Here are some more tips on what to do after getting ghosted.

  • Articles, Fun, GirlSpring.com, Interview, Local, Social

    Boy Scouts…for Girls!

    First founded in 1910, around 110 million Americans have at some point participated in Boy Scouts of America (BSA) programs. For the first time in the US, in February 2019, BSA has now allowed girl troops to form under them, permitting them to participate in BSA events and earn the Eagle Scout title. However, this has brought some controversy.

    Some people argue that Boy Scouts should only be for boys as it teaches them important life essentials. Additionally, if girls want to grow and learn to be independent, they can join Girl Scouts which helps them grow as women, in almost the same way. On the other hand, some people argue that girls should be able to have the same strenuous and demanding opportunities as boys. They should also be able to earn the well-known title of being an Eagle Scout.

    Boy Scouts for Girls in Alabama

    Currently, in Alabama, there are three different girls BSA troops. I participate in one such group in the Vulcan District, Troop 193. We have three adult leaders: Wanda Ellenberger (scoutmaster), Craig Brown, and Sophie Ventura. The girls in the troops are Madison Brown (aged 16, Tenderfoot), Lea Brown (aged 12, Tenderfoot), Tabitha (aged 13, Tenderfoot), Maddy Wenter (aged 11, Scout), Sammy (aged 11, First Class), and Uzma Issa (age 16, Tenderfoot). Though the troop started in May, we have already participated in many events such as the Advance-o-Rama, Tree Sales, and multiple campouts, hikes, community service, and other day trips.

    Small Troup…Big Potential

    Because the troop is small and only has one patrol, it is able to move fast-paced helping the older girls knock down requirements in order to get the Eagle Scout before turning 18. Since girls joined so late, there is an extension rule where if someone was 16 before June 1st, she gets two extra years to earn the Eagle Scout. By only having six girls and three adult leaders, our troop is small, allowing the girls to make quick, strong bonds with each other by participating in all the events together. I asked some of the troop’s members what they felt about the troop.

    When asked what she learned from her scouts experience so far, Madison replied, “Since joining the troop I have learned way more than school could have ever taught me. I have learned to tie 6 different types of knots, I crawled for 2 miles around a cave, hiked multiple hikes, camped, and served 2 leadership positions. I have learned how to talk to different people and talk to groups of 10 or so people.” Tabitha also explained what she learned: “I’ve learned how to tie cool knots, how to set up a campsite, and how to treat minor injuries.”

    Being in the troop for just a few months, they were also asked what their favorite parts of being in Scouts. Both Madison and Tabitha agreed that the bonds they created with people were unlike the ones made in other places. Finally, none of this would be possible without our lovely scoutmaster, Ms. Ellenberger. She explained that “I would have loved to have been a Boy Scout growing up. With the program opening to girls this year, I knew that I would HAVE to be involved. I’m thrilled to be able to involve girls in the same amazing program of personal growth, Citizenship, and faith that has been available to boys for the last 110 years.” Overall, we have a small but adventurous group with big potential. I know that many of us are excited to see where this troop will go and what it will achieve. 

  • Articles, GirlSpring.com, Lifestyle, Mental Health

    Who Are You?

    fiery woman

    Who Are You? This question may seem like one you know the answer to, but the more you think about it and try to figure out  the answer, you’ll realize the answer is not as simple as you thought. Because what makes you who you are as a person? Is it your physical attributes such as height or is it all mental? Or something else entirely?

    Every little thing in your life has the opportunity to define who you are. Every insignificant thing you have done in your life. All the decisions you’ve made whether good or bad. But the question is, will you allow these things to define who you are. Do you believe that all the bad decisions of your life should make up who you are? Do you allow what other people say about you to define who you are?

    Who you are is based on your perception of your life. No one else can tell you who you are as a person. They can tell you who they think you are but you are in charge of whether that is right or wrong. Do not let other people tell you who your are because they do not know everything that has happened to you. They do not know all of the things that have shaped you into the person you are today. Only you have control of who you are and who you can be.

    So, who do you think you are? Do you think of yourself as a good person? I cannot answer that question for you but one thing I can say is that you are the future and I hope you can help make the world better. I hope that you are able to find happiness in who you are.

  • Articles, GirlSpring.com, Lifestyle, Mental Health, School, Tips

    Staying Motivated in School

    Lisda Kania Yuliani on Unsplash

    School can eventually begin to feel like a chore you don’t want to do. The days can blend together and you get tired of having to do homework or tests every day. While walking through the halls, you can often hear someone comment on how much they despise school or hate the subject in which they are learning. In reality, no one truly hates school. It can be exhausting, but it can also be a fun, learning experience. Not only to learn about what you’re passionate about but to discover yourself. School enlightens us about our strengths and weaknesses and shows us just how strong we are. We often think we’re much weaker than we are, and when we actually try it can be rewarding.

    People learn in different ways and different paces, so when they don’t understand something, they determine the reason is that they’re not smart enough. This is usually a common obstacle in every student’s life and can be hard to overcome. That’s why motivation is a big factor in staying successful in school. Motivation is the key that helps you when you don’t know how to unlock a door.

    The question everyone asks is how they continue to stay motivated throughout the school year. The first thing people’s mind goes to is studying. But this is not the most important thing, sleep is. In fact, according to Nationwide Children’s, teenagers need approximately nine to nine and a half hours of sleep every night. Those who do not get enough sleep are more likely to have behavior problems, such as noncompliance and hyperactivity. Inadequate sleep may result in problems with attention, memory, decision making, reaction time, and creativity, all of which are important in school. Setting up a sleep schedule and turning all electronics off can help prevent irregular sleep schedules. Getting enough sleep not only improves memory and health, but it also motivates you to try harder and not feel as groggy.

    In addition to sleep, reward and punishment is a good system to stay motivated. While studying for school is essential, having fun should be too. It is okay to let go every once in a while or simply take a break. Studying too much can be boring and lead to frustration, which in return, can affect your schoolwork. It’s mainly about balancing your homework and study time and your activities outside of school, whether that be clubs, sports, or hanging out with friends. The motivation to power through school overall depends on how determined you are. If you don’t put in the work, you don’t get the reward.

  • Articles, GirlSpring.com, Travel, Writing

    My Greek Odyssey

    “What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others”

    Pericles

    As history students, we subconsciously fall into a cycle: memorize, regurgitate, and delete. Intrinsically, much of the information from our elementary history classes is lost, yet one civilization strangely remains in our memories, Ancient Greece. This civilization’s contributions in politics, arts, and more outweighs any other ancient society. Due to Greece’s rich history, the land itself if riddled with remnants and traces of the past, ancient superpower.

    My first experience with connecting to the past is connected came as a byproduct of a hike in Sparta. My heart began to pulse and my hands began to shake, and entire existence felt obsolete, yet eternally connected with the environment and people around me. I finally felt the magic and beauty within the lands of Greece that had been thrown at me via mundane textbooks for the past seventeen years of my life. In one single instance, I could sense the barriers of the time continuum caving in. This all hit me as I reached the end of my twenty-minute hike to the top of a secluded mountain shrine and church site near the modern city of Sparta. This mountain will forever have a place in my heart, for it allowed me to experience rather than read history for the first time in my life.

    Through my eight days in Greece, I traveled around the entire countryside, up mountains, along coasts, and through large metropolitan cities. No matter where we were there was this weird whisper within my head. It kept asking me; “What could be under all this soil? Is there something waiting to be found?” After days of suppressing this voice, I finally caved and allowed myself to want to search for the answer. My pursuit to find the answer to my whispers within Greece has allowed me to discover a passion of mine, archeology. Some people are meant to write history, but Greece has allowed me to see that I am meant to discover it.

    For those out there wanting to travel, all I can say is do not think, just act. One can find the most surprising thing waiting for you hiding within the unknown.

    “Experience, travel – these are as education in themselves.”

    Euripides
  • GirlSpring.com, Interview

    This Shero Went From Art School to the Air Force!

    This Shero
    In life, we never really know where our paths will take us.

    It is common to begin in one direction then reroute. Deciding to explore the unknown leads to new opportunities.

    Enter Helena Urban, our newest Shero.
    Air Force Shero

    Helena is very familiar with this predicament and GirlSpring had the opportunity to sit down with her and discuss life’s many pathways.

    Air Force Shero

    Helena was adopted from China on Valentine’s Day. This is when her journey began. As an only child, Helena says she was always in search of something attention-grabbing. “Being an only child, I really found the time to be creative and do stuff with my hands”, she recounts.

    Air Force Shero

    Helena remembers a time she got in trouble for writing her name in chalk on her bedroom wall. “They got me a sketchbook after that to prevent that from happening again”, she laughs. From there, Helena’s creativity blossomed. She was enrolled in the Alabama School of Fine Arts (ASFA) so that she could better develop her craft.

    Helena first heard of ASFA from a friend of her mom’s. The friend described it as the “best unknown high school for the arts”.

    “When I was shadowing another student, I witnessed ASFA’s diversity. The variety in courses proved this was the school for me”, she says.
    Air Force Shero

    At ASFA, Helena was exposed to a variety of art forms. From sketching to dancing to sculpting, I was really drawn to sculpting,” Helena says, “because it allowed me to work with my hands.” Creating pieces that are often about adoption and using a variety of Chinese symbols, she is able to illustrate her life journey thus far. Never in her life, however, did Helena think that the military would enter the plan.

    After graduating from her small class of 52 students in 2018, Helena had a repetitive thought. How does one pay for college? “I was really set on the University of South Alabama and was looking for a way to pay for it. A recruiter from the military had reached out to me about joining and that initially sparked my interest,” Helena says. Her mother convinced Helena to join the Air Force and take advantage of the opportunity.

    Helena broke ground on an unknown path.

    While in the Air Force, Helena became a Structural Civil Engineer. “It revolves around welding, carpentry, and handiwork. I enjoy it because it allows me to very be involved with my hands”, she said. Although she was worried about her performance in Basic Training, Helena says the paperwork is most stressful. “There’s just so much,” she says, “and you have to remember every detail of your medical history. It’s almost like adopting a child there’s so much paperwork.” Helena also recounts the difficulty of the physical test. “It was really hard, but I discovered that the body is capable of more than you think. It’s all mental. You have to constantly tell yourself to keep going” she says.

    After Basic Training, Helena will attend UAB. She will be studying Art with a concentration in Sculpture. When asked what she hopes to gain from the Air Force, Helena replied with, “I really hope to gain confidence, a calm mind, and self-growth.” She also hopes to develop physically. Helena’s advice for girls considering a military career is to “Always be thankful – even when you don’t know why. Gratitude creates a positive environment.”

    Air Force Shero
    Thank you so much Helena Urban for talking with us and for being a Shero!
  • Articles, GirlSpring.com, Goals, Mental Health, School, Stress, Tips

    Are You Managing Your Time? Or Is Your Time Managing You?

    Staying organized and keeping your schedule up to date is a tricky skill to master. It takes a lot of trial and error, in addition to finding what works for you personally. Without knowing how to properly manage your time, it becomes really easy to fall behind on your assignments and responsibilities. Thus, giving the potential for stress and anxiety. A big part of time management is the ability to prioritize and know when to ask for help. Prioritizing different aspects of your life that require your time is essential to be able to contribute your best effort in each area. Assigning priority can be difficult when it comes to things like personal life or hobbies.

    How do you really know how much time is appropriate to use on certain activities? Remember, trial and error is okay. In a larger sense, prioritizing is about assigning meaning and importance to the things that matter and that you need to accomplish in your life. When thinking about priority and time, you must consider things like deadlines and value. For example, say you have a 100 point final research paper due tomorrow that you’ve been working on for several weeks, that might take priority to finish first over something small like finishing up your BFF’s birthday gift. Finding out what is important to you as a person, and what’s worth your time, will help you make prioritizing an easier step. Keep reading for some extra tips and tricks to ensure you will stay on track and be organized! 

    Tip 1: A Killer Planner

    A good solid planner is critical. There are endless shapes, sizes, colors, and layouts to choose from. Find which works for you! Some people do better seeing their month to month planned out, and some people do better working week to week. Some planners even offer both, it’s up to you. When you think about size, think about how often you want to use it, and how many places you want to be able to take it. Do you have a large bag, where size wouldn’t matter? Or do you need a pocket-sized portable planner? Think about these things when you pick one out. Have fun with it! TJ Maxx and Marshalls are great spots to find discounted fun and effective planners! 

    Tip 2: Highlighters and Post-It Notes

    Using highlighters and Post-It Notes can help catch your eye for reminders, and allow for yourself to leave a visual cue. Similar to the planner, you will find endless colors shapes and sizes. Some people prefer bright neon colors, some respond better to more mellow colors. Sharpie has a great selection of colored highlighters! Post-It Notes have a wide size and color variety. Maybe Post-It tabs work better for you, to serve as a reminder to flip to a certain page or maybe full-sized ones to leave on the mirror to remember things in the morning! These few supplies can go far in your organizing world! 

    Tip 3: Making Errands Fun

    Errands can drag. Spending extended time getting small yet necessary tasks done can be unmotivating and difficult to bring yourself to do. There are a few things you can do to make the time pass and get a little enjoyment. Try bringing a friend along! A lot of times you can find a friend that needs to get some similar stuff done, and the company always makes time go by! Next, bring your headphones! Going grocery shopping? Plug in and focus on that list! Bringing a pair of headphones to the store can make the time go by and give you the choice of what you want to listen to! Finally, don’t feel guilty to reward yourself. If you’re driving around to a bunch of different stores, check out the clearance rack, find yourself a little trinket! Or if you’ve been doing chores and homework all day, make yourself a snack and turn on your favorite show. Taking small breaks is so important to maintaining a productive day.