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notsobri

  • Articles, Bullying, Confidence, Environment, GirlSpring.com, Interview, Lifestyle, Local, Mental Health, Relationships, School, Sexual Health, Social, Stress, Tough Questions, Writing

    Deciding To Come Out

    coming out

    ( Author’s Note: This website is for women empowerment. Men and Women can be feminist, therefore there are some males in this article.
    bri xx )

    Coming Out

    Coming out and discovering your sexuality is a really touchy subject and not everyone is comfortable with talking about their experiences. Although, it is a sensitive subject I know people (especially those who aren’t out yet) like to hear other LGBTQ+ coming out stories. Everyone’s story, of course, will be different! Some were accepted while others maybe weren’t. I had an okay experience which made me very curious about what other LGBTQ+ peoples’ experiences were. This led me to interview a few people with different cultural backgrounds to see how their experience went. I asked them all the same four questions.

    Here are their responses:

    Hayden Robinson
    Current Age: N/A
    Age You Came Out: 15
    Gender: Male
    Sexuality: Gay

    When did you discover you were apart of the LGBTQ+ community?

    During middle school, it felt kind of awkward walking through the underwear aisles. He started to realize when he had a crush on rapper Flo Rida.

    When and Why did you decide to come out?

    It all was a bit of a process, the first person he told was already a part of the LGBTQ+ community. He told them over Instagram demos, but then told them to delete their conversation. Then in November, he told his sister. The next month, he told his mom, and the month after that, his father. Soon, he told his stepmother on Valentine’s Day. Eventually, he told his close friends, but he still wasn’t out to everyone which affected his mental health. So, one Friday afternoon, he made a Snapchat story saying he was gay.

    What were your responses from friends, family, teachers, etc?

    Most of them knew already. Sister thought it was awesome that they could talk about boys together. Mom took it hard and was scared. Dad was kind of quiet and didn’t ask many questions besides how long did he know he was a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Stepmom didn’t think it was a big deal.
    Friends were excited and pretty much already knew it.

    Looking back, are you happy with your decisions on coming out?

    He is very happy about it! He would not be where he is today if he hadn’t come out. His family and friends are also still very supportive.

    Linus
    Current Age: 16
    Age You Came Out: 14
    Gender: Female
    Sexuality: Queer / Doesn’t really like labels though.

    When did you discover you were apart of the LGBTQ+ community?

    Younger, people would say a lot of homophobic things and she would take up for the LGBTQ+ community, not really realizing she was just standing up for herself.

    When and Why did you decide to come out?

    It wasn’t really formal, she just kind of talked about a crush who was apart of the LGBTQ+ community.

    What were your responses from friends, family, teachers, etc?

    Overall, friends acted normally while one “friend” tried to fully push her out of the closet which resulted in her cutting them off.

    Looking back, are you happy with your decisions on coming out?

    She’s only out to friends, but is happy about making that decision. She plans on coming out to family when ready.

    Carter

    Current Age: 15 turning 16
    Age You Came Out At: 12
    Gender: Transgender Male
    Sexuality: Bisexual

    When did you discover you were apart of the LGBTQ+ community?

    The first time was when he was in a hospital and met people a part of that community. During that time, he was given a chest binder and a packer and decided to try it.

    When and Why did you decide to come out?

    He came out as bisexual when he was twelve around thanksgiving time. He came out as transgender at fourteen.

    What were your responses from friends, family, teachers, etc?

    Friends weren’t accepting at all and didn’t really understand it.
    Mom was giving him the talk when he came out as bisexual and was okay with it. Dad didn’t really care, but questioned if he was really sure he was bisexual. When coming out as transgender, his mom was confused and not accepting. She thought he was too young to make that decision. Four years later, Mom has accepted it but doesn’t want him to make rash decisions.
    Parents told teachers to call him a different name but didn’t tell them that he is transgender.

    Looking back, are you happy with your decisions on coming out?

    Yes and No, he’s still battling with a couple of different things. Wishes he hadn’t told friends, but glad he came out to his family otherwise he would still be confused about things.

    Jamiah
    Current Age: 16
    Age You Came Out At: 15
    Gender: Female
    Sexuality: Lesbian

    When did you discover you were apart of the LGBTQ+ community

    In seventh grade. The first year at a new school and decided that she wasn’t attracted to guys anymore.

    When and Why did you decide to come out?

    Made the decision to come out because she didn’t want to hide anymore and just wanted to be honest with herself.

    What were your responses from friends, family, teachers, etc?

    Mom and Brothers already knew and did not care nor treat her differently. Dad doesn’t know and is not gonna tell him because she feels he just won’t understand. Friends were really happy and weren’t really shocked.

    Looking back, are you happy with your decisions on coming out?

    Yes, Very Happy. She was just tired of hiding it and finally happy she can be open about her relationships.

    Talking with these individuals opened my eyes a lot.

    You always hear stories about people’s coming out experiences. Some are like a happy fairy tale ending. Some are not so happy and end with people taking their own lives. Not everyone is gonna be accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, but every individual has a right to express themselves and not be treated differently or less than anyone else in this world. Coming out is not the easiest to do so wait until you’re ready and are comfortable with sharing it to friends, family or anyone. Don’t let anyone force you to do anything you don’t want to do. If you are not comfortable with coming out, it’s perfectly fine, no pressure, but know that, even if it doesn’t feel like it, there are many people out there who love and support you.

    If you do come out and you start to experience verbal, physical, emotional abuse or any form of bullying, tell someone. Don’t let other people’s stupidity make you feel bad about being yourself. Hopefully, reading other people’s stories helped or educated you a little bit on how different everyone’s reactions and how it changed or didn’t change their lives.

    much love,
    bri xx

    Everyone deserves to feel comfortable being themself, gay, straight, bi, trans, whatever! Check out some tips on being comfortable in your own skin.

    If you are thinking about coming out but don’t know how to, or have more questions than you can count, look at the Human Right’s Campaign’s Coming Out Resource Guide.

  • Articles, Confidence, Music

    June Playlist (Pride Month)

    Pride Playlist
    (parental advisory)

    1. Girls/Girls/Boys – Panic! At The Disco
    – this is a song basically about how a girl and guy can be bisexual. I really like the beat and it is a very catchy song.

    2. Honey – Kehlani
    – I love Kehlani!! She is an amazing artist and this song is literally amazing. It’s basically her talking about her feelings towards other women and how she thinks they are beautiful. It’s a soft beautiful song and it will never not be beautiful in my opinion.

    3. Same Love- Macklemore X Mary Lambert
    – In this song, Macklemore tells a story about someone dealing with coming out and events that have occurred after they did come out. It tells that you can accept yourself if others don’t. Mary LAmbert’s vocals are wonderful also she sounds like an angel. (top on my list!!)

    4. Girls – Girl In Red
    – In ‘GIRLS” girl in red talks about hiding her feelings for other girls and debating if she should hide them and how she wrapped them up inside. She expresses how she really feels this way but she shouldn’t and she can’t help her feelings and that it’s not a phase. overall, a rocking song.

    5. Curious – Hayley Kiyoko
    – This song is a hit from the beginning to the end. She talks about another female companion that moves on to a guy but she’s curious if she is really happy in that relationship and if it’s serious, She also brings up their old times and old things they used to do but in the end she says she can handle it.

    6. Girls Like Girls – Hayley Kiyoko
    – This is yet another Hayley Kiyoko hit! She basically is saying that girls like girls just like boys do and people should just be okay with it. Which, I totally agree. Girls can like Girls just like Boys can and it shouldn’t be a problem.

    7. Born This Way – Lady Gaga
    – Now I’m sure many people know why this is on this list and it doesn’t need an explanation but for the people who don’t I’ll gladly explain. Lady Gaga as the icon she expresses that we are all the same girl, boy, gay, straight, etc. We are all the same and being apart of the LGBTQ+ community isn’t a choice, it’s simply the way we were born.

    8. Bloom – Troye Sivan
    – This is just a great LGBTQ love song that just gets your blood pumping. The lyrics, beat, his voice is the perfect package deal.

    9. HIM – Sam Smith
    – “HIM” is a song about Sam talking to the ‘holy father’ about his secret. The secret about him being gay and how he can’t that he is in love with another man. He also mentions that shouldn’t mean that God shouldn’t love him any different and that he hopes he doesn’t hate him for ut and how god shouldn’t care for him for it.

    10. Cool For The Summer – Demi Lovato
    – In this song, Demi is talking about how this summer she is exploring her sexuality and trying new things. People shouldn’t be scared or ashamed to explore their sexuality.

    11. What I Need – Hayley Kiyoko X Kehlani
    – Two beautiful artists coming together making great music is what this track is. They both express their love and needs from their female lovers. It is a great song just to dance and sing along to and I’d be surprised if you do listen to it and don’t do any of those things.

    12. Bonus Track: Dancing Queen – ABBA
    – not an LGBTQ+ song but come on.. this song will is a HIT to play at any place or party.

  • Environment, Lifestyle, Local, Misc, Social, Tips

    Pride Month Safety

    Pride Month

    Some Tips on How to Stay Safe During Pride Events.

    As many of you may know PRIDE month is right around the corner. For those who don’t know what pride month is here’s a definition: The month of June was chosen for LGBT Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which occurred at the end of June 1969. As a result, many pride events are held during this month to recognize the impact LGBT people have had in the world. ( Wikipedia ) But in my words basically a celebration for the LGBTQ+ community!

    If you are planning on attending any PRIDE events, parades, parties, etc. Here are some safety tips you could use just in case.

    1. Stay with a friend or a group of friends: Often, when attacks have occurred the victim are usually alone leaving a party, at a party by themselves, or simply just walking home by themselves. If happen to find yourself alone stay as open in the public as you can and always check your surroundings. (even if you are just going to a bathroom)

    2. Drinking: If you’re an ADULT please drink responsibly!! And if you have had too much to drink please do NOT drive, have a friend take you home. ( I don’t advise taking an uber or lyft in that state of mind because you do not know the driver.)

    3. Have protection: I do not recommend any type of weapons on any occasion but if you are considering getting one: mace, taser, pepper spray, etc. Anything to protect yourself if an attacker approached you.

    4. Clubs: If you are planning on attending any type of club or public function check if there is security and if weapons are or aren’t allowed in the building. Also, be aware of emergency exits!!

    5. Last but not least… HAVE FUN!!!!: Pride Month is a month of celebration for being who you are! If you are looking for events to attend you can ask a friend you trust or look up events in your area. If you plan to attend one, BRING A FRIEND OR FRIENDS.

    If you are a teen in the Birmingham area, MCAC (Magic City Acceptance Center, http://www.magiccityacceptancecenter.org) has many great events coming up.

    If you are in the LGBTQ+ community and you are not out yet, I understand. Coming out isn’t easy, wait for when it’s perfect for you!!

    Happy Pride Month my loves, bri xx

  • Writing

    Yasmeen’s Not so Modern Life: The Series

    Yasmeens's Not so Modern Life: The Series

    Note From GirlSpring: This is the first part of a fictional series from our one of our contributors. GirlSpring empowers girls to be creative in different outlets, such as fiction writing (as this is). If you want to become a contributor, head over to www.girlspring.com/submit.

     

    Episode 1: “It’s Life”

    Hi, my name is Yasmeen Marie Pepei Lopez, I know I know a very very very long name but that’s what my abeula Roseleen named me. I am a sophomore and I go to James County High School but everyone just calls it J.C.

    “yasmeen! hurry up, you’re gonna be late!” my mom xiomara yelled.

    “coming!” I said as I put on my sneakers and head down the stairs.

    “well look who’s alive.” my papá roberto said as he picked up his bag.

    “I know, i know..” I said picking up some toast as I heard my brother xzaiver’s car horn beep indicating that he’s about to leave.

    “better hurry mija.” my mom said entering the kitchen.

    “I’m going, love you guys.” I said hurrying outside.

    “love you too, be safe!” my mom yelled as I approached the car and hopped in.

    “took you long enough.” xzaiver said pulling off.

    “yeah yeah, whatever.” I said.

    “what if I’m late?” my sister ava said.

    and here it goes, let me just give you a run down on my life.

    I have three siblings, xzaiver who’s 17, ava who’s 12, then joey who’s 7. we all have very different personalities, just like me and my best friends, but in the end we’re one big family.

    speaking of friends, let me introduce you to them.

    first, we have isiah, he’s very outspoken and a wild card you could say. he LOVES makeup, and you rarely see him without it he’ll probably start his own makeup company one day, he also happens to be gay but he’s open about it and we wouldn’t trade him for the world.

    next, we have kacey, she’s the artist of the group you will never ever see her without her pencils and her sketchbook. most people think she’s shy but when you get to know her..let’s just say not so shy..

    then there’s elijah, we just call him eli. he’s the star quaterback, the “hot jock” everyone loves. even through he plays football and seems like that “hottie” that’s too cool for school, he’s actually a huge geek. he loves astrology and star wars and anything that deals with the galaxy but not many people know that but us..

    and onto ivy, ivy is the mom of the group she’s also putting herself before us and also keeping us in shape and at times out of trouble. not at all times though, she loves to dance so she will occasionally drag her to a party or two and then.. a whole new ivy comes out.

    next is nova, nova is the more reserved and quite one, her parents hold certain standards over her that kind of makes her not that social, but when she’s around us she’s herself. she’s actually really funny and loves to collect cameras. she has a huge passion for the photographer world.

    after her, there’s isabella, but we call her izzy. she has a passion for music and playing instruments, you will never not hear her singing or making some type of music.

    last but not least, theodore, yes that his name but he goes by teddy. he loves nature and animals and he’s always dragging us on some type of adventure. he will not just stay in one place, he’s determined to travel the entire world and we most definitely can see that.

    and that’s our group, we’re not all perfect and we don’t always get along but hey, that’s natural.

    “see if one of your friends can take you home, I have baseball practice” xzaiver said as we hopped out.

    ‘thanks for the late heads up” I said sarcastically

    “you’re most definitely are welcome” he smirked walking away to his group of friends.

    “yass yasmeen!’ isiah yelled out walking up to me.

    ” you look fab-ou-lous honey!” he said causing me to laugh.

    “thanks siah, where is everyone else?” I asked as we intertwined arms heading into the school.

    “I think they-” is all he could get out before they all head towards our way.

    “right here.” he laughed.

    “morning chicas” isiah said hugging everyone as I do the same.

    “why are you always so happy in the morning?” kacey asked rolling her eyes.

    ‘because, who wouldnt be this happy when you look like this?” he said doing a vogue and walking down the hall as if it was a fashion show walk way.

    the bell ring sounds for homeroom.

    “and it starts, see you guys at lunch.” I say as we all part our ways.

    nova, teddy and I head to the same class.

    “so there’s this party this weekend at rebecca’s house, we should go” teddy said as we took our seats.

    “not really up for a party…you know how my parents are.” nova said.

    “just say you’re staying at my place to study.” I said.

    “I would but its too close to weekly exams and you know how my dad gets around this time” she said sadly.

    she’s right, you know how people makes jokes about how smart asians are and how their parents are super super strict well those are nova’s parents. they expect her to make all A’s and be the perfect daughter and go to church and be an innocent angel.

    “we’ll come up with something.” teddy said.

    “maybe..” nova replied.

    “okay, what’s really wrong? you seem more off them usual.” teddy said as the teacher told us to quiet down so he could take roll.

    “I’ll tell you later.” she said turning her attention onto the teacher.

    teddy and I gave each other a look, nova’s usually not like this but whatever it is hopefully it’s nothing too bad but in this group you honestly never know.

    but hey, everyone goes through all kinds of stuff especially at our age but that’s life.