Browsing Tag:

confidence

  • Articles

    What to do if you are being bullied – by one of your parents

    Sometimes parents can be the bullies in your life.

    In our society, we are socialized to respect our elders. Therefore, the thought of standing up to one or challenging what they have taught you to better yourself is tough. No one likes to be pushed around or interrogated for their everyday life by people they do not know. Being pressured by a parent can be even more overwhelming and can result in some psychological issues if not dealt with properly.

    Up until my grandmothers passing, we had a bit of a rocky relationship.

    Because I was so expressive in my presentation, she would think that I was somehow disobeying her and disobeying God. I grew up in a conservative Baptist home. I struggled with why I was so concerned with how other people viewed me. It was because I had been raised, and based most of my life around, this idea that if I looked like I was okay, then everything was okay on the inside. But that was far from the truth. My grandmother’s inability to accept me for who I was took a toll on me in ways that I cannot explain. And on top of that, it felt as if the whole world agreed with her.

    The saying that people treat you how they treat themselves can apply to this situation, and many other things.

    According to www.kidshealth.org, “Sometimes bullies know that what they’re doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don’t understand or care about the feelings of others.” Some people come from backgrounds where people have abused them or mistreated them and use you as a target to project that onto. Others might come from places of insecurity or belittlement.

    In some situations, I feel as if it is important to be brave.

    Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself especially if you know there was something that you didn’t do wrong. If you are in a position where you cannot stick up for yourself and it requires someone in higher authority, like an adult, to speak up then I would suggest pulling them to the side and telling them what’s going on. Two heads are better than one. On top of having courage, the fact of having a support system will catapult you into a completely different arena. And if you also see someone being bullied, do not stand back and be a bystander. Be a voice for them and do not hesitate.

    Work on being good enough for you.

    I know a lot of teenagers and children want to do their best in order to be on their parents’ good side, but truth be told, this is impossible. If you are not giving yourself the credit to excel, then you’ll only continue to live in that docility and that dark place. And always remember if someone has the audacity to touch you, belittle you, or make you feel inferior, there is a likely chance that all of those emotions are going on inside of themselves. You have to believe that you are on the right path.

     

    Makayla Smith is a third-year student at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. She completed an internship at Girlspring in fall 2018.

  • Books, Confidence, Lifestyle

    Harness the Power of Your Inner Goddess!

    Harness the power of your inner goddess

    Harness the Power of Your Inner Goddess!

    Girl power author Ashley Holt shares her secrets on soul strong living for girls in her debut young adult book, I am Brave: Soul Strong Living for Girls. Boost confidence, develop self-esteem, and find your inner goddess! This would make an excellent gift for you or a friend!

    Link to the book, here! Ashley was also one of our Wonder Women! Learn more about the career talks here!

  • Articles, GirlSpring.com

    How to be Your Biggest Supporter

    How to be Your Biggest Supporter

    Sometimes we are our own worst critics and our own bullies. Sometimes the only person standing in the way is ourselves. I used to look out into the world, and wish that I could feel a part of it; everyone seemed so happy and seemed to know what it was that they wanted to do with their lives. I thought I had to have other peoples guidance in order to advance myself in society. But truth be told, we shouldn’t have to carry these false idols into the foundations of our dreams. Sometimes pushing ourselves too much because of what seems to have on the outside will end in a way that we will regret.

    As a woman, in particular, I feel like we often to have to compete more based off of our looks. I do not think any woman is to blame for this, but I look at it more as a social conditioning. I often reference India Arie’s ‘Video Girl’ as a musical mantra to help me feel better about myself and to remind myself that my quarks are what make me who I am. More so, as a woman, I have struggled with the thought of comparison and if I presented myself in a more feminine way then that would garner a lot of attention. And although it was attention that I had gotten, it was something that made me feel less of myself. I realized that this was a social norm that I had to break and redefine for myself. I could not continue to be the tyrant in my own life. I had to make the decision to slowly let go of the thoughts and opinions, mostly, of those that oppressed me, but also the ones that I had created that kept me in chains.

    Being my own best friend was what brought me personal satisfaction. On www.kindovermatter.com, they suggested to “take photos of yourself [and to] take control of your self-image by taking charge of the camera or hire a photographer whose work you love to help you see your unique self-mirrored back at you.” Physically looking at myself helped me to process my identity more too. I was able to see things that I had never realized myself like how I enjoyed my smile and the way my cheekbones were constructed. I had wondered why I had spent so much time downplaying my appearance when that was not everything that made up who I was. I had finally seen it with my own eyes and knew that no one could take that away from me because it was something that was inborn. I had given it to myself, and that part of me was something that didn’t belong to anyone else. I was now in charge of whether or not I would be offended or upheld when someone had something negative to say about me or when I had something negative to say about myself. The only person that had control over everything was now me.

     

    Makayla Smith is a third-year student at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. She is completing her internship through Girlspring.

  • Articles, Stress

    How Women Influence For The Better

    How Women Influence For The Better

    by Aulana Dudley

    A woman can be very important to a girl or boys life, they can shape who we are and how we react to certain things.
    A woman who has had a significant influence on me is Elizabeth Gross. Elizabeth has been my therapist for a little over a year. She helps me while I deal with my fear of human emotions and my anxieties mixed together. Elizabeth’s influence consists mostly of teaching me ways to handle human emotions (mostly when people cry) without becoming uncomfortable and ways to calm my mind down. For example, before I started going to Elizabeth I bottled every emotion up until I would explode and only anger would come out; I would also have panic attacks with no way of calming myself down and eventually I would just end up falling asleep. Since I’ve been seeing Elizabeth,  I’ve been able to control the number of emotional outbursts I have and I now know what can trigger them to happen. I can also find specific music to help guide my brain back to a placid mental state of mind during panic attacks.
    With Elizabeth’s influence, it has affected how I live moreso because now I know what my brain can handle and what can push it over the edge, this is what affects my character the most. She has also helped me find loopholes for my separation anxiety between my father and older sister, Satura. Elizabeth’s influence also alters my confidence; because she also aids me with my social anxiety which helps me get rid of some of my shyness and my fear of public speaking. She also helps me feel more confident in expressing how I feel about things that make me uniquely myself such as Star Wars, Marvel, DC Comics, and cartoons. Elizabeth has helped me in so many ways that I feel as though she has been a big impact in how to view certain things and my personality. Being able to see what a colossal change in my life Elizabeth has made on my life for the better has been one of the most heartwarming things I have ever been able to do.
  • Body Image, College, School

    Three Rules for the New School Year

    Three Rules for the New School Year

    guest post by Martha Underwood, CEO of Executive Estrogen

    This year, how will you navigate making new friends, encountering new teachers, growing physically and emotionally all while staying cool. It can seem overwhelming but it doesn’t have to be. You are unique and beautiful in your own right. Here are a few tips to navigating the school year.

    Get a Mentor & Meet a New Friend

    Approach new teachers and new people with the intention to learn about them and yourself. Find a good teacher that can serve as a mentor to you. Also, you may be able to use them as a confidant or tutor should you need one. Be open to meeting a new friend and seek out friends that may differ from you, doing so will help expand your perspective of people and  in the end you may find that you are more alike than you may have thought.

     

    Embrace Physical Change and Growth

    Your body and emotions will change. It’s natural. I was so skinny, I used to get teased that I walked on stilts. Instead of staying indoors looking at all the photoshopped bodies in magazines, I made it a point to ride my bike and enjoy the outdoors. Being outside reminded me that everything is always evolving and my body and emotions weren’t any different. So instead of staring at Instagram all day,  go for a walk.  Enjoy the outdoors, it offers the opportunity to immerse yourself in a new environment which will help balance all of the physical and emotional ups and downs you will experience.

     

    Be You

     

    Most importantly, be you! Even if you feel like you look silly doing the floss, do it anyway. Even if you feel like people will pick at you because you still love Harry Potter, love it anyway. Someone will always have an opinion about how you look, what you say or how you dress, in the end the only thing that matters the most is how you feel about it. Take note of how you feel when you are experiencing new people and new things. If it makes you happy, keep doing them, if it makes you uncomfortable or sad, remove it from your life.

    Here’s to an awesome 2018-2019 school year!

    Keep Shining,

    Martha