Loving Like a Sister
As a senior in high school, my conversations recently have mainly focused on college, especially around people I do not know well. Among those that truly know me, one of my most frequent questions regarding college has been something like, “How will you do it without Harper?”
To me, this question is scarier than not knowing where I am going to spend the next four years of my life. Scarier than possibly moving more than a state over. Scarier than possibly never wanting to move back home. See, all these possibilities mean I would no longer live with my sister. Because Harper is such a big part of my life, even our own friends are saddened by the thought of us living apart for the next three years (clearly, I hope she follows me, wherever that is). While I know the huge adjusting college will bring for my whole family, I also know that if anything, it will make my relationships stronger with those I love most.
The Fears of Separation
Recognizing this fear has reminded me of my family’s move from Florida to Alabama. While we were both elated to no longer be sharing a room, overtime, I sensed a strain in Harper and I’s communication because of the bathroom separating us. We were both rightfully consumed with getting into the groove of our new schools, but I always knew my most reliable friend would still be my sister. Even though Harper has always been perfectly fine doing her thing, I was never going to let her fall into the category of friends I fell out of touch with in Florida.
Last year, there was another shift in our relationship: the car. With every passing year, I believe we have gotten closer, but once I hit sixteen, we were given a whole new world to explore just the two of us. While a seemingly small change, it has been a key part of our time together since we have both hit high school, and it really solidified us as the sisters our friends know us by.
The Sisterly Bond Can Go Beyond Blood
Recently, I have really comprehended how few people experience this form of relationship if they have a sister or not. In my eyes, having a “sister” does not mean someone has to share the same blood as you. I feel beyond fortunate enough to have found my sister within my own family, but I recognize that this is not the case for everyone. Whether girls with or without blood sisters recognize this, I believe having at least one sister in a female’s life is beyond crucial.
As we all know, there are just some things boys do not get, and some things parents are just too distanced from to understand. At the end of the day, everyone needs to have someone to be that listening ear and advice-giver, no matter their true qualifications to do so. Women of today are pitted against each other in everything they do, especially as social media continues to dictate society. Whether it is instigated by women or not, comparison has unfortunately become a thief of so many people’s self love and connections with others. Because of this, I think the need for strong female friendship becomes even more necessary for girls of today.
Sisterhood in Friendship
Having a sister means, for me, having someone I can be fully myself and vulnerable with. Of course, these qualities are much harder to act like in person than to write down. Fortunately, Harper was immediately my token sister friendship, but I have slowly learned that having non-related sisters as well is a slot that cannot be maxed out. I told myself going into both junior and senior year that I would unabashedly be the same person Harper knows me as, and it has truly redefined lots of my friendships in the best ways. Finding that blood relations do not limit sisterly friendships has made me more secure in myself, and my appreciation for others because of the genuineness of the friendship.
Although social media can be very dividing, it can also unite girls in ways we have never been able to before. Growing up in this time means learning how to find the balance for you to remain confidently yourself despite the media’s sometimes outrageous expectations. Girls of all ages have begun to find the outlet social media provides to encourage self love and supporting others, which is so crucial for girls everywhere. If we girls can collectively apply these promotions of being our highest, loving selves to everyone, the best female friendships will eventually naturally fall in line with our own beliefs.
To Harper
A true sister will love you without doubt and want the whole you without any facades that many girls, unfortunately, have subconsciously adopted. In the end, Harper is my sister, but she is also my best friend. Yes, the proximity and sharing of parents helped greatly, but the ease of being ourselves has taught me how to be a sister to her and others. I believe every girl is capable of having and being a sister because there are so few requirements. I am no doubt still working on it, but truly, being yourself is the first step, and love for yourself and others will follow! Cough, cough, Harper, follow me to college please!
For more on sisterhood, check out the poem: Sisterly Serenade!
