A breakup can feel like the end of the world. With your first heartbreak, it may seem like you will never get over your ex. I promise that with time, your life will go on. I know this because I made it through an unexpected breakup, and you can, too, even if it seems burdensome.
Here are five pieces of advice from my personal experience with breakups.
1. You are not defined by relationships.
Before this person, there was somebody who cared about you. Even if you feel alone, there will always be someone who cares about you. A single person does not define your worth or make up your identity. It may feel like your identity is nothing more than somebody’s partner, but that is simply not true. You are your own person, with and without a romantic relationship.
2. Give yourself space from the other person.
This will subsequently help with the process of getting over your ex. Space allows for the initial feelings of the breakup to settle down. With this, you can start adapting to life without the person. Plus, this prevents unnecessary further conflicts between the two of you.
3. Do other things to take your mind off it.
Your individual hobbies and interests are a great way to find joy amidst a breakup. Step outside and go for a walk to increase endorphins. By partaking in activities you love, you begin to realize that you do not need your ex for happiness or to have fun. It also helps take your mind off the person for at least a little while and, furthermore, keeps the breakup from consuming you.
4. Do not seek answers.
Sometimes it just is not worth it to pester your ex about the breakup. It can potentially hurt you more and disrupt your healing process. Nothing your ex says will make you feel better about the breakup. My biggest piece of advice is to accept that sometimes people fall out of love, and it is okay for your ex not to be “the one”. Besides, there truly are other fish in the sea. Dwelling upon the past can prevent you from meeting new people in the future. Look forward, not backward.
5. Set some goals.
Someone gave me the best advice. She gets over breakups by telling herself that one day she will wake up and they will not be the first thing on her mind. After she reaches that goal, she then tells herself that one day she will not think about her ex until lunch. She then keeps going with these goals until she reaches a day where she does not think about the ex at all. Then, she does something to celebrate! This is a great way to help yourself get over someone, and I strongly advise you to utilize this goal because it does work.
Even though it may consume you now, in a few months, you may not even think about your breakup anymore. Life will go on, and as it does, your feelings from the breakup will fade away at your own pace. You have a bright future ahead of you, and one breakup will never do anything to change that.
It will get better. I promise you.