How I Fell For You by Olivia Martin
You lied, cheated and tore up my mind
Another like you? Not too hard to find.
The opposite of my type should I say
Even though talking to you was the highlight of my day
I should hate you
But I want you
Your immature and took me for a fool
Why do I want you
I walk by you as if you didn’t play a major role in my screwed up mind
I want to punch you
I want to hit you
I want you to feel the pain I feel every time I try to give a kind guy a chance
But I can’t
Every time I see them, I see you, no lie
And not being able to tell you this eats me alive
You lied to me & were selfish
You knew exactly what to say that night when I called you in a bliss.
My lips are marked with your name in my mouth
I miss it so much but know I can’t have it
I see you in public and want to run to you, arms wide open claiming your mine
When I see you look away or pull your hat down, the inside of me dies.
I have one vid of us, at a wedding
Foreshadowing? Who knows. But the way you looked at me is pierced in my mind, the joy was spreading.
I hate your country music, your feminine side, when you wear headbands & the way you tore apart your family
Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Or worse, stop reliving our cherished moments which I was so unsure
Your humor excited me and so did us sneaking around
“It’s not my fault I like everything you” is what you told me one night
My smile hid under a mask as I continued to put up a good fight
I look up at the moon and say goodnight to you
Hoping your saying it back even though I already knew the answer to that
I trusted YOU with my whole heart
You took everything I said seriously and cared about what I had to say
I was in lust, only to realize you would
left me there to die
Why do I wish to hear your voice and hear you cry
AND I HATE GUYS THAT CRY
So why, oh why, are you the exception when you hurt me so bad while I was so young with a wrong perception?
Yet I want you
I want an apology
I want respect
I want to be put first
I want to be kissed
I want to be loved
But why not tell you before?
Why not say this when you told me you felt this way towards me?
Because you already decided our fate
Without even taking me on a date
I guess your right we want different things
You want a truck, a wife and a bag full of dreams
But I want success, a family, and whatever else it seems
So therefore I did not tell you
What I wanted to say, is that okay?
I know I was very cold to you on that very warm day
It was all just an act to make me not like you
I wish I could take it all back
And see if things could be different and new
Sometimes I replay your recordings to me before going to bed
So close yet so far listening to everything you said.
It’s not our time, it may never be
At least I can have some peace knowing I told you
How I fell for some guy without a degree