Going back to school every Fall always makes me nervous. Whether it’s seeing all my classmates again after so long, or having to be in the same place for eight hours straight, I’ll undoubtedly have butterflies in my stomach on the first day.
This year it’s more intense because I haven’t seen many of my friends since March. I know that I am now a different person than I was in March, both mentally and physically. I’ve come to learn that these types of feelings are okay and they’re normal. Even though these were the people I saw almost everyday, some of them could be very intimidating to say the least.
I had some fears about going back.
Specifically, if I wanted to go back at all. Our lunch this year is divided up into our advisory groups and half of the alphabet goes on Mondays and Thursdays while the other half goes on Tuesdays and Fridays. My cohort has none of the people in my advisory, so I will basically be eating lunch alone with my teachers. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a bad thing, but I certainly would have wanted to be eating with my own friends at school.
Having nobody to talk to during lunch is very upsetting to me because that is what I’m most used to- I did it every single day last year. It will be a major change, but I’m grateful I have my phone as one of my resources to communicate with my friends. I can text them whenever I want or even call if they are free!
Another aspect of going back to school that’s stressing me out is the heavy workload I’m going to be enduring again. I always procrastinate doing work no matter what it is, and it is a bad habit; I can admit to that. Don’t get me wrong, I am always able to finish my homework and assignments, but the thing is I’m taking my first AP classes this school year and don’t know if I will be able to handle it all.
Something that does help me calm down a bit about my work is my brother. He has taken all the classes I am taking now, and I can rely on him if I need to ask him for help. Just talking to him also helps me relax. My friends help me through it, too. I have one friend in particular who never fails to call me every day and check in on me to see how I’m doing. I know it can be hard to make new friends, especially if you go to a small school with only sixty people in your grade like me. There are times that I can only talk to my parents about certain problems of mine that I can’t talk to my friends about, and it’s sometimes therapeutic to vent to them because they are adults and know how to help me.
I definitely think talking to those around me more will help me out a lot this year. Going back won’t be easy, but I know it’s not impossible.