Articles, Depression, Mental Health, Poems

Depression: A One-Way Mirror

All along, I’ve seen the warning signs

The vicious cycle of my disease

Struggling to get out of bed every morning

Pretending everything’s fine

Constantly numbing the pain


I’m in a prison of my own making

But I don’t know if I want to break free

Everyone tells me to keep fighting

Why can’t I just give in?

Body, mind, soul, you already own it all


I live in eternal darkness

But have never felt more at peace

I close my eyes, prepared to surrender

Taking a deep breath, I sigh

As the harsh reality of life washes over me


No one’s coming to save me, I am on my own

Why shouldn’t I give in and let the darkness swallow me whole?

But for the first time ever, I suddenly feel an urge to fight

I open my eyes as I repeat the words

“No one’s coming to save me”


It’s true, no one can save me, so I have to save myself

Fend off the all-consuming darkness

Revive my light that once shown so brightly

Embracing the pain, the fear, the hatred

I face the mirror, a wall of invisible scars


I’ve been a soldier my whole life

My body, a living warzone

Hidden from sight

Masked by makeup, manners, and misdirection

An illusion only I can recognize


Mascara concealing the tears I’ve cried

Lipstick covering the secrets I hide

Clothes veiling my battle wounds

On the outside I smile quietly

On the inside I’m screaming for help


Every day, an endless assault of intrusive thoughts

“No one can know”

“Just smile and ignore the pain”

“Don’t think so much”

“Why can’t you just be normal?”


I breathe deeply as the panic sets in

“Everyone’s staring at you”

“You’re so fat”

“They’re not really your friends”

“Why can’t you be pretty like the other girls?”


Yet again I feel that same suffocating weight

The bone-chilling darkness that surrounds me

But this time something’s different

A new voice echoes loudly inside my head

“You’re beautiful just the way you are”


Gasping, I face the mirror once again

As the broken glass shatters around my feet

A new, almost unimaginable image appears before me

My once unruly hair, now a crown fit for a lioness

My once shameful stretch marks, now a beautiful reminder of my journey


I stare at the mirror in amazement

As every part of my body begins to glow from within

Not a trace of the darkness is left

All I can feel is the warmth of the light

Turns out, I was the illusion all along


Samantha Tolley

Hi, I’m Samantha! I am a senior at the University of Alabama majoring in Advertising and this is my first summer being a GirlSpring intern. I’m so excited to be a part of this empowering community and can’t wait for y’all to read my articles! A little bit about me, I love photography, movie marathons, Disney, dogs (I have an English Cream puppy), and everything music (my favorite bands are NCT 127, P!ATD, AC/DC, and Queen).

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