What is a friend?
A friend is a person that you bond with. They are the person you can talk with, ask for advice, and share funny videos. Having a friend is a wonderful feeling! Well…. if they’re a good one of course. We all know that none of us are perfect. Everyone has a character flaw here and there. Even the nicest, kindest friends have issues too, but it can always be talked out. But if the bad qualities begin to overlook the good, then it may be time to look deeper into that person who may or may not be your friend. Sometimes you may even have to see if you may even be that friend.
What’s the difference between a true friend and a fake friend?
Of course, this list varies, from person to person so take this with a grain of salt.
True friends:
- Are respectful of you and your space
- Kind to you and others around you
- Are loyal
- Make you laugh
- Don’t pick fights
- Want to see you do your best
- Are supportive of you and your dreams
- Make you feel your best
- Make you feel comfortable to be yourself without judgment from them
- Are kind to your other friends
- Are ok with you having other friends besides them
- Make jokes that are funny and lighthearted
- Make you feel your best
- Encourage you when you’re down
- Trust-worthy
- Generous
- Don’t only think about them
- Great listeners
- Positive attitudes
- Have your back
- Wants you to be your best self
Fake friends:
- May appear as nice but can be passive-aggressive at times
- Judge things you say
- May be nice to you but mean to others
- Make you feel like you have to change who you are so they won’t judge you
- May like to start drama
- May try to light heartily peer pressure you
- If you don’t agree with something they do, they may make you feel bad and say “Well my other friend just gets it”
- Make “jokes” about you or others that aren’t funny, then say something like “It’s just a joke” or “it’s not even that serious” or “Can’t you take a joke?”
- Guilt Trip
- Gaslight
- May want you to well but never better than them
- Play the victim
- *Call you ugly names such as “stupid” or “dummy” and disguise it as “okay” because you all are friends (this isn’t ok for siblings either 😡)
- Lie to you
- Makes you feel emotionally exhausted after interacting with them
- Ditch you for someone they like
- Ask you questions and judge your answers
- Narcissistic
- When you do something great they try to do something better than you
- Backhanded Compliments
*Please know that it’s ok to play around and call each other silly or funny names that aren’t hurtful and that you both are truly ok with, like a funny nickname or phrase. Emphasize the word funny. Not something one person thinks is funny, but it’s hurtful to the other person. Hateful things like ugly, dumb, stupid, or even curse words, are not ok. It will never be ok.
Friends Can Change
Sometimes the friend may be new, or the friend may be old. Some people you’ve been friends with for a long time, change, for better, or worse. If your longtime friend has begun acting towards the negative side lately, maybe talk it out with them, but if they refuse, it might be time to change your circle.
Finding new friends
Be yourself, don’t change so someone can like you. Whoever comes should like you for you. Not your looks (this includes crushes!). Ask questions, be aware of red flags, and stay true to yourself.
Just a little thank you
Want a fun way to thank your friends that are tried and true? Want to be a great friend to your great friend? Here are a few things you can do:
- Write them a card telling them you are grateful for them
- Send a just-because gift for them with all the things they like
- Send them a weekend activity for them to do like a craft
- When you can, it is always great to ask a friend how they are doing and check on them to show you care
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So with everything learned, it’s time to get started! Journal what kinds of qualities you find in your friend. See what kinds of things may need to be talked out, or begin to walk different paths. It’s always great to talk to a trusted adult, counselor, or therapist before making these big decisions they can give you advice on how to deal with the situation you’re in with a friend.
Remember, you are loved from above! Be the best you that you can be.
Thanks for stopping by!
Jaina
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