Writing to Myself
Recently I have been struggling with loving my body. I would sit and sulk for hours and be so hungry but I didn’t want to eat because I didn’t want to eat those calories I had just ran off. I had been doing research on how to lose weight fast and how to glow up. Self love is such a personal topic that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone, not my closest friends not my parents. I decided to write a page a day on how I felt, things I couldn’t share or things I just didn’t want to share with other people.
I turn off all the lights in my room except this lamp in the corner of my room and I turn off the music I was more than likely jamming to. I have to think about how I really felt. If it was a really good day I’ll write about things I thought about that made my day so great maybe I didn’t really think about my body or maybe I had finally seen some change in the way my body looked. If it was a bad day it is a little harder to begin writing. I have never really enjoyed venting my feelings to other people because most of the time I feel like I’m weighing them down. So I spend anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour just writing whatever comes to my mind that I thought about that day positive or negative.
My mood is so lifted the day after I write. Usually I spend the rest of the night sulking in my mood or jamming out to music because I had a wicked awesome day. The day after I write it’s like I really get a whole new start. I don’t have to think about the day before where I was either in a good place or a bad place. Also I have noticed it’s starting to matter less and less how large the number on the scale is, It’s starting to matter how I feel. That is what is the most important.