An Honest Post on Eating Disorders
OK. This is so scary for me to be posting in front of a bunch of strangers. But I feel really passionate about this subject and I can’t let my fear get in the way any longer. So here we go.
As National Eating Disorder Awareness Week comes to an end, I just want to say a few things. This topic is pretty sensitive for me but it’s close to my heart so bear with me. Eating disorders suck – Period. They are not glamorous and you most definitely don’t choose them.
I’ve suffered from an eating disorder since I was 14. I’ve been through all of the ups and downs – the calorie counting and restriction, the excessive exercise, and the shame of feeling horrible in my own body.
Some days, I would eat only one meal with a few snacks and then run or exercise to try to burn it off. I was cold all the time. I lost my period for three years! My brain was also in a perpetual fog. Even though I looked the most fit I ever had, I was not mentally healthy. Now don’t get me wrong, eating well and exercising can be great. As long as you don’t let it consume your life and thoughts – which happened to me.
Going from 130 pounds to 108 pounds in a span of a few months was not healthy. Especially how I was doing it. I was so scared of disappointing my friends and family by telling them about my problems. I was always trying to fight my body’s natural needs. There were little voices in my head always criticizing me and telling me I was never going to be good enough. And for what? To try to get washboard abs? Or super small legs? Why would you waste so much time And energy over something so vain and futile? Why try to fight something that should be so simple? After all, it is a necessity in life. Why are we constantly letting the world dictate how we feel?
No one should ever feel like they have to change who they are because someone tells them to. No one should ever let worth be defined by weight. Your. Wait. Does. Not. Define. You.
Once you realize that you were meant to be on this earth for so much more than to shrink yourself, only then will you find all the joy life has to offer.
Guest post written originally for Instagram by Claire Rivas of Birmingham, Alabama