First Dates: A Tutorial
What does a first date mean to you? To me, going on a first date is the first real chance you have at getting to know someone. The actual date may not be as common as going to the movies and getting dinner, there are other ways to romantically get to know someone. I remember my very first “first date”. It was near the end of my freshman year of high school, and this boy I had met through a mutual friend invited me out to dinner. With permission from my parents, I agreed to go out with him.
I was so nervous. I did not know what to wear, how to do my makeup—if I should wear makeup—where we would go, or if I was going to be expected to kiss him at the end of the night. I wasn’t sure if I would be ready to kiss him. I had even considered cancelling the date and just asking if he wanted to hang out with a group of friends sometime rather than being alone. But I didn’t.
I flipped through every single article of clothing I had in my closet and ended up trying a few on. Nothing seemed to fit the mood right. Blue jean shorts felt too casual, my homecoming dress was too formal, a tank dress fell a little too close to casual, and my black blazer would make it feel like an interview. So, when all else failed, I went to my sister. Today you could just use Pinterest for outfit options.
My sister said to just wear something cute and comfortable. Do you know how vague that is? Very.
I eventually settled on a black camisole, a white cardigan, and a blue jean skirt. It may sound unfashionable now, but it seemed alright back then. It ended up being both cute and comfortable like my sister suggested. I didn’t have to change my personal style to fit for the date’s mood, which is important when someone is trying to get to know you, and vice versa.
The next item on my list was the makeup issue. I didn’t wear a lot of makeup in high school, mostly because on weekends my Show Choir group would wear tons of it for a single performance. But during the school days I wore a little bit of eye liner and some mascara. Pretty much nothing has changed, aside from what makeup I wear to professional events. I believe a natural face can be just as beautiful as wearing makeup. Whatever feels comfortable to you, is what you should do.
The guy I was going to be seeing knew what my face looked like on an average day, so I decided to dress it up a little bit. I watched a short tutorial on Youtube for how to do makeup, and then began applying those techniques to my face.
With my outfit down and my face embellished, I was ready to see where the night would take us. He had planned for the two of us to eat at local Mexican restaurant. Just dinner, nothing else. I was completely okay with this. First dates are not supposed to be how extreme the other person can be when planning, but to have some time to talk in a comfortable environment. That is not to say that you can’t do fun and exciting things for a date, just try to give time to talk on the first one.
As the night was coming to an end, we talked about what things we favored, what we are passionate about, where we see ourselves in years to come, and we even gave each other personal compliments. It felt like a huge success, and I was already planning on seeing him again.
When it came time for him to drop me off at my home, he walked me to my door and let me know how much fun he had that night. He leaned in slightly, so I knew he was inviting me to meet him the rest of the way if I wanted. Instead, I was not yet comfortable enough to kiss him back, so I said goodnight and that I would like to see him again.
There was nothing weird about the situation. He backed away at a comfortable pace and smiled with understanding. There is no rule that states you must kiss your date on the first one or on any of them. It is something that is nice and will come naturally with time. We did end up going on a couple of more dates after that night, and I eventually met him halfway.
If you are ever in need of some first date/dating advice check out these tips:
- Only say yes if you absolutely want to go out with them. You are not obligated to “give someone a chance”.
- Pick an outfit that feels like you but give it a little bit of an extra touch so that the other person knows you’re just as excited about the date as they are.
- If any part of the date makes you uncomfortable, do not be afraid to say something.
- Always come prepared to pay. Even if the person you are going out with invited you, you should be ready just in case anything happens. This brings me to my next tip,
- The responsibility of paying typically goes to the person who invites the other person on whatever date is planned, unless you have both agreed to split the tab, or some other arrangement is made.
- Don’t be afraid to be the one doing the “asking out”. It does not matter what gender you identify with, if you want to go on a date with someone, then just ask them.
- Healthy Dating Tips: https://www.girlshealth.gov/relationships/dating/index.html