by Paige Kouh
Today I am lost, in the absolute most freeing way
Hidden behind the rouge on my cheeks,
I feel beauty escape me
A moment ago, my fingertip brushed
an orchid petal
And I felt beauty rush through me
One touch, and efflorescence wove itself through the air
Yesterday, I wore caramel ringlets in my hair
A rosy rash rested on my scalp, resembling the orchids vibrant iridescence
This was when beauty burned me
Last June, my mind left me
seeking for untold answers
But beauty had never met me
Flower petals whisked by me, finding comfort in the porcelain palms of a little girl
Last year, my masculinity overthrew all strength,
leaving me hopeless that I could ever be like her
Suddenly I felt beauty betray me
Now, I yearn for acceptance
I yearn to live the life of a girl in amity,
wondering if beauty will ever find me
Reluctantly, I watch the little girl skip away, without a single ounce of beauty to repay
