I have been in a relationship for seven and a half years now. On the evening of December 8, 2009, I was asked out, and on the evening of December 8, 2016, we got married.
When I tell people this, they’re usually surprised, and sometimes jealous. After all, I’m 25, which means that when we first got together, I was 17. So people have asked me what the key to making their relationships work is, and I think that’s where they go wrong.
There is not one key to making a relationship work. When asked to narrow it down to one perfect element that a relationship has to have, I refuse. Relationships cannot function without trust, honesty, communication, love, respect, and support on both ends, and to try to pick between any of those elements is absurd.
When people ask what the key to a good relationship is, my advice is to figure it out yourself. That’s not because I want to brush you off or I don’t want to help. Rather, it is good for people to find what works for their relationships. What works for my relationship may not work for yours, and that is totally okay (as long as both relationships are healthy).
One thing I can tell you is to stop worrying about your relationship lasting and live in the moment. That can be difficult, but if you focus too much on making your relationship perfect and lasting, you’ll get burnt out and the relationship might crash and burn.
It can be hard to stop worrying about your relationship. After all, you’re in love. You want to make sure that you’ll be with the person you love forever, right? But none of us can predict the future, at least not to my knowledge. You can vow to love someone for the rest of your lives and then three months later get divorced. We’ve all heard about that happening all too frequently in our society. So how do you make sure you’re not going to be one of those couples?
Well, one big tip that I’d give to you is that you need to like your partner. This seems really obvious, right? But all the best relationships that I’ve seen were couples that were best friends first, and partners second. That doesn’t mean that they started out as best friends, it just means that eventually they ended up that way. There is a sort of freedom that comes with being in a relationship with your best friend. It means that you know that they’ll never make fun of you (in a cruel way, that is) and that you can trust them with anything. My advice to anyone hoping to make their relationship last is to cultivate your friendship with them. Make sure you like them in addition to loving them.
Overall, I’d say relax and enjoy the ride. Besides, if you have mutual trust, honesty, communication, love, support, respect, and fondness, then in my eyes, you’re good.
Do you have any thoughts on making a relationship last? Leave them below in the comments!
(Written by Megan Flint.)